


And Not So Long Ago

by torakowalski



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Canon Compliant, Christmas, M/M, Post-Relationship, Pre-Relationship, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-18
Updated: 2015-12-18
Packaged: 2018-05-07 12:14:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5456177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/torakowalski/pseuds/torakowalski
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>It’s ridiculously early on Christmas morning and Aaron in his pyjamas is not something Robert is equipped to deal with.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	And Not So Long Ago

**Author's Note:**

  * For [atlanticslide](https://archiveofourown.org/users/atlanticslide/gifts).



> Merry Yuletide, atlanticslide! 
> 
> With huge thanks to J for reading along with me as I wrote it and my twitter feed for the encouragement.

Robert has been staring into his coffee mug for the past half hour, when the living room door opens and Aaron comes in.

It’s ridiculously early on Christmas morning and Aaron in his pyjamas is not something Robert is equipped to deal with. He looks away.

“What’re you doing here?” Aaron asks. He’s come to a stop in the doorway, eying Robert warily. 

“Not much.” Robert’s coffee has gone cold. He swirls it around in his mug, watching as the milk separates then mixes back in.

Aaron doesn’t say anything for a minute, like he’s waiting, then, “All right, suit yourself,” he says and moves into the kitchen. He doesn’t even try to look as though he’s not avoiding the table and, by extension, Robert.

“How’s your mum?” Robert asks, listening to Aaron clatter around behind him.

There’s a crash like Aaron has dropped a plate very pointedly onto the work surface. “Do you care?” Aaron asks.

Robert shrugs. He’s not sure if he cares or not, to be honest. He thinks he remembers liking Chas, way back when, but all his memories are soured by the last year of lying.

“Diane cares,” he settles on.

Aaron snorts. It sounds as though he’s filling the kettle. Robert hopes he’s not after coffee; he’s probably drunk it all by now. It’s been a long night.

“You planning to sit there all day?” Aaron asks. “Only, it’s Christmas and we don’t need you cluttering the place up.”

Robert laughs. He laughs more than he means to, actually, a little bubble of exhausted hysteria bursting in his chest and fizzing up his throat.

“You okay, mate?” Aaron asks. Aaron has a way of saying _mate_ that means the exact opposite.

“'Cluttering up the place',” Robert says, waving him away. Not that Aaron had been coming closer, but if he were, well. Probably not a good idea. “It seems like I clutter up every place I go.”

“Yeah. Well,” Aaron says. Just that. Robert glances back at him over his shoulder and finds him leaning back against the kitchen cupboards. It looks like he might have been staring at the back of Robert’s head, but he straightens up as soon as Robert catches his eye and starts banging around again.

Robert turns away. 

“How’d you even get in?” Aaron asks, around the time that Robert had started to assume they were finished making conversation.

It’s tempting to insinuate that there’s a way in here that Aaron doesn’t know about or just not to explain at all. Robert doesn’t have the energy. “Easy. I just never left.”

“What?” It sort of explodes out of Aaron, like he wanted to sound angry, but landed on incredulous. “You just sat here all night?”

Robert raises an eyebrow. “I thought about coming up to join you, but - ”

“Don’t do that,” Aaron snaps, with a sharp crack of sound, like he wants Robert to know he's shaking his head, even if Robert can't see him. “Don’t flirt. Do you even mean it?”

Robert opens his mouth, but finds he doesn’t have an answer. “I don’t know,” he says, eventually, which is maybe the most honest thing he’s said in a while. He’s fairly sure that he’d like to live in a world, where he and Aaron are together and none of the other complications exist, but in this world? He has no idea.

“Yeah, all right,” Aaron says and sits down at the table opposite him.

Robert stares at him. Aaron is just going to sit there and eat his breakfast, is he? “All right, what?” he asks.

“All right, I’ll take that as an answer.” Aaron digs his spoon into his cornflakes and sets his head down, ignoring the world, while he eats.

Aaron’s hair is longer than Robert’s used to. Robert always liked the feel of it against his fingers, when it was shorter. He must zone out, so tired that he actually thinks he’s sleeping and that this is an odd dream, before Aaron looks up.

He flinches a little, as though he wasn’t expecting Robert to be so close, then narrows his eyes. “Can I help you?”

_Can you?_ Robert thinks. He’s not sure if he says it. He doesn’t think he does, but he’s so tired. He props his head on his hand, so he won’t droop forward onto the table.

Aaron’s narrow-eyed look changes from annoyed to curious. “Are you all right?”

“Do you care?” Robert asks, automatically throwing his own words back at him.

He expects Aaron to brush him off, like he brushed Aaron off. He definitely doesn’t expect Aaron to hesitate and then to hesitate some more.

Robert suddenly feels a little more awake. He sits upright. “Aaron?” he asks.

“I - ” Aaron starts.

Robert leans forward.

The door that leads down from upstairs opens with a click that’s probably no louder than any other click, but still sends them both jolting back into their seats.

“Oh,” Diane says, stopping in the doorway. She’s wrapped in her dressing gown and she looks tired but better than she has for the last few days. That was one of the things Robert was worrying about all night, and he feels a little of his tension drain away.

“Good morning,” he says, looking up at her and smiling. He stands up and waves her into his seat. “Coffee?”

Diane looks between him and Aaron, her expression shrewd. “If I’m interrupting, I could go back through that door, count to ten and come in again?”

Robert feels his chest tighten with panic. He knows it’s ridiculous, but _she_ knows there’s a possibility that something might be happening between him and Aaron - between him and a man - and he’s spent so long hiding that possibility from everyone.

He curls his hands into fists and breathes and breathes until it will come naturally again. “No, you’re not interrupting,” he says, firmly. “Is she, Aaron?”

Aaron shrugs one shoulder, but he’s looking at Robert strangely. “Can’t think how she could be,” he says, slurping milk off his spoon like he’s already moved on from the conversation.

If Robert hadn’t been right there a minute ago, a few inches from Aaron and looking into Aaron’s eyes while Aaron looked back into his, he might think nothing had been about to happen, either. But he was there and he did see it and now he’s desperate to know what it was that nearly happened.

“Coffee?” he asks Diane again, a little more desperately this time. He needs some time to think. Boiling the kettle seems like an excellent break.

Diane doesn’t look as if they’ve convinced her of much of anything, but she does sit down. “Tea, please,” she says. “One sugar, not too much milk.”

“I know,” Robert says and relaxes a little more, enough to smile at her honestly.

“You know, I’ve been thinking,” Diane says, while Robert is trapped in the kitchen and Aaron is trapped at the table with her. “It seems silly for us all to be spending Christmas dotted around the place. Victoria and Adam, and Andy will be here, Robert, so you should be too. And Aaron, you’ll stay and eat with us, won’t you?”

Aaron looks a little panicked, eyes flicking to Robert before darting away again. Robert can’t help, because he doesn’t know what he wants Aaron to say.

“I’ve got to visit my mum,” Aaron says. Now Robert knows what he wanted Aaron to say and it wasn’t that. He tells himself that it’s stupid to feel disappointed: they don’t have a future, they _can’t_ ; he’s annoyed by the part of himself that wishes that they could.

“After, then,” Diane prods, still gently and still stubbornly unlikely to take a no for an answer.

Aaron goes still for a moment, like he’s trying desperately to think of some other excuse. He could say he’s eating with Paddy and Rhona, but he obviously hasn’t thought of it, and Robert’s not going to say it for him.

“After, then,” Aaron sighs, nodding. He looks at Robert over Diane’s shoulder. Robert looks back. He doesn’t know what to do with his face, completely without a plan for once.

For some inexplicable reason, that makes Aaron smile.

The kettle boiling feels like a relief, giving Robert an excuse to turn away. He’s halfway through pouring water onto the tea bag, when he realises that he’s smiling too.

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Yuletide, again, atlanticslide! I wanted to write you the story of them getting back together, but I don't think they're quite there yet in canon. Hopefully you will like this pre-reunion moment, instead.


End file.
